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You are the new bloke in the office block and single. How do you catch the eyes of the ladies in the office without hanging a sign around your neck?

How are you going to meet a chick? If we exclude trawling through online dating sites then there is a good chance it’s going to be via your social networks. And work is one of those key social networks, right? The problem is you are the new guy at the office so nobody knows too much about you. Now this “new entity” status can either work for you or against you. First impressions count, so if you want to get the ladies in the office chatting about you to remember the following pointers:

Be cool and understated

Play it cool and don’t give too much away, too soon. Just like poker, you don’t want to play your hand too soon. Starting a little chat at the coffee station in the morning is fine. Unpacking your entire life story, which includes details about your messy 2nd divorce and how you don’t have enough money to buy lunch this week, is gonna sink you quicker than the Titanic. The idea is to engage but not over share. Got it?

Look the part

I’m not suggesting you blow thousands of bucks, you don’t have, on a new wardrobe, but woman do notice a guy who has a little dress sense. An oversized suit or your old man’s worn out corduroy pants aren’t going to cut it. Looking like a dude who is well put together doesn’t cost much and it’s worth the effort. And if you don’t believe me ask yourself this question, “Have you ever seen a smoking hot chick with a guy that looks like he slept in a dumpster?” The answer is No.

Smell the part

Time to chuck the cheap deodorant can away (you aren’t 16 anymore). If you look good you are 80% of the way there. If you smell good you are 100% of the way. But please avoid smacking on so much cologne that colleagues are left gasping for breathe and scuttling to open windows when you enter the front door. Too much cologne means you are trying too hard. When you try too hard you lose.

Only a few drinks after work

The quickest way to kill any chances you might have is to be “stupid drunk” at the first after work drinks session. Enjoy a couple of beers, but don’t hit it so hard that you end up becoming an overbearing, obnoxious drunk.

Add value in meetings but don’t take control

People who have worked in your office for a while deserve to lead meetings. You are only going to piss people off if you become the “mister know it all”. People will notice you if your comments are valid and well thought out. You will be labeled a douchebag if you hijack the meeting (and remember the ladies will be watching how you handle yourself).

Don’t pull your car into the bay right in front of the office

You might be cruising around in a brand new Benz or BMW, but I can tell you that nobody cares! Parking your car right in front of the office means you are a show-off. Nobody likes a show-off! Pick a parking in a spot where it doesn’t look like you are trying to compete with the CEO.

Be smart about your lunch

Ok, so you are trying to save some bucks by bringing left-overs to work. No problem with that, but it isn’t a great idea to suck on left over rib bones or man handle a quarter chicken when you are in the company of colleagues (especially the fairer sex). If you are going to eat with your hands make sure you do it like a gentleman. Chicks don’t do slobs or dudes with table manners like an Amazonial tribesman. And if you hit a lunch with something funky like garlic, do everyone a favour a drop a mint in your mouth!

Play by these rules and there is a good chance somebody of the fairer sex in the office is gonna notice you. Don’t play by these rules and you will be spending lots of bucks and bandwith trying to find a chick online.

SLEB

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