We have all seen it – good blokes slowly turning into douchebags! So what is a douchebag? My favourite definition is from the Urban Dictionary: “Someone that surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or mother fucker.” Does it ring a bell? Could it be you?

So, what are the warning signs? How can you help a mate or yourself before either of you evolve into a douchebag?

Here are some of the tell-tale signs:-

What you do for a living and how much you earn is defining you

Nothing pisses me off more than pretentious dudes who dominate chats at a braai with talk about their boring investment banking jobs and six-figure salaries. I can guarantee you that nobody really cares. Congratulations on your success!

You are starting to wear sailor shorts and pastel Polo shirts

Why is it that every guy I meet looks like he has just walked off a yacht in the Med? Pink sailor shorts accompanied by a light green Polo golf shirt. WTF man! Put on a pair of baggies and your favourite t-shirt, as you did before you become a douche.

You aren’t making it to rock concerts anymore because a brunch is more your thing

Real men love rock n roll. Douchebags pretend they don’t like it anymore because for some reason spending an entire day in the sun and then shouting out lyrics to songs you love just isn’t cool anymore. Yeah, it’s far cooler to go for an over-priced brunch talking about your investment banking job and the 4th property you are about to buy (see point 1)

You are buying a new car every 24 months to remain “cool”

You remember the Citi Golf you drove for ten years? It did the job right? I can guarantee you that your car will last longer than 24 months and nobody really cares if you have the latest model or not. The continuous effort to ‘keep up with the Joneses is a big reason you are turning into a douchebag. Resist the urge to have the latest car and you will remain humble and avoid turning into that guy.

Look, I could go on and on, but the bottom line is that you get my drift. Real mates tell their mates they are turning into douchebags. Do the right thing and save a brother from this harsh reality.

Try not to become this guy! 🙂

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