They say when you get married, you marry the entire family. That statement is a matter of fact, and every bloke out there, who has uttered the words “I do”, will know exactly what I’m talking about. And that’s cool, that’s part of the ‘holy matrimony’ thing. What isn’t so cool is when you start feeling like you’ve married your mother-in-law! Is it starting to feel like that? Perhaps you’ve missed the warning signs.

How do you know if you’ve not only married your wife but her mother too?

It’s a tough one because it often happens without you even noticing it. Mothers-in-law can sneak up on you like stealthy assassins, in the night, and before you know it you are a hostage in your own home, with someone else barking demands, hurling abuse and drinking all your damn beer.

But don’t fear, there are warning signs to look out for.

You know you’ve married your mother-in-law when:-

  • She is the first one at your house on a Saturday morning (completely uninvited)
  • She has already picked out the name of your unborn son
  • She is the first person you speak to in the morning and the last one before your head hits the pillow
  • She appears in more of your family photos than you do
  • She has a remote control for your complex/house gate
  • The dog recognizes the sound of her car from a block away
  • Her knitting bag stays at your house, under her seat which is parked right in front of your TV
  • She calls you out for not going to church
  • You haven’t had a vacation without her in 3 years
  • You get more WhatsApp messages from her, in a day, than you do from all your mates, combined
  • You are forced to be friends with her on Facebook and she has your work email address
  • She is commenting on what you wear and how you cut your hair
  • She has formed an opinion about your drinking habits
  • She knows how much you earn
  • She is dictating which schools your kids need to attend
  • You are scared to light up a cigarette around her
  • She is the one booking your annual medical check up
  • She knows how much life cover you have in place
  • Movie nights include her
  • She has you on a juice diet
  • She knows about that dodgy mole on your back
  • She corrects your grammar and pronunciation
  • She asks you to put the music down at your own braai

Gentleman, I could go on and on… You get the gist, right? When your mother-in-law starts treating you like your wife does, you’ve taken on a second wife…and one is tough enough to manage!

My advice, set some boundaries.

If your mother-in-law is getting under your skin, we’re keen to hear about it – leave your comments below.

SLEB